Disobedience Read online

  Suddenly, there is light. A door is being pushed ajar from the inside by a large man with a potbelly and a dirt-streaked face. The fluorescents from the other room illuminate him and what appears to be a small hold on a ship. When he looks back at the sobbing form huddled in a ball on the ground, Finn’s heart clenches. Bile begins to rise in her throat as she takes in the torn, raggedy dress and the bright fall of red hair shadowing the woman’s face from view.

  “Li-Li?” Despite knowing her voice won’t be heard, Finn can’t help but whisper her sister’s name into the shadows.

  Holding the door with his foot, the man buttons his pants and watches Iliana for long seconds. Eventually, his voice cuts through both the room and Iliana’s cries.

  “You belong to me and the crew now.” Reaching into a back pocket, the man pulls out Finn’s singed dolly and throws it to the ground by Iliana. “Your sister is dead. You have no family, no one to miss you. You might as well embrace your new role on the ship.”

  With that, he turns and exits through the doorway. As the shadows swallow up the remaining slivers of light from outside, Finn sees Iliana’s shaking hand reach out and snatch up the doll. She pulls it to her chest just as darkness falls over them.

  Finn’s eyes snapped open, dropping Iliana’s hands as though they were ablaze. When her shocked face panned up to Iliana’s, she found her sister’s eyes and cheeks wet with tears.

  “I’m—I’m sorry,” Finn stammered, choking back her own rising tears. “I didn’t mean to . . .”

  With one carefully drawn breath, Iliana regained her composure and the pooling wetness in her eyes receded.

  “It’s all right, Little One. I could have prevented you from seeing it.”

  But she didn’t.

  Though it was only one memory amidst a sea of thousands, it was enough for Finn to glean what her sister’s life had been like before Grim came into the picture and helped her become a courtesan.

  Sharp pain lanced Finn’s heart as she thought about what she’d seen.

  “How long?” she whispered, deceptively calm despite the storm raging inside her.

  Her sister’s forehead creased with confusion.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “How long were you on that ship before Grim found you?”

  Finn winced at the sharpness rising in her tone, but amidst the pain in her heart was a growing rage on behalf of Iliana and all she had endured.

  The wrinkles in her sister’s forehead smoothed in understanding.

  “Too long.”

  The small flames of rage became an inferno in Finn’s chest.

  “Iliana—”

  She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say but it didn’t matter. Iliana cut her off before she could finish.

  “It is in the past Finn; let us leave it there.” Iliana’s eyes grew solemn as she held Finn’s. “Please understand when I siphoned your memories without your permission, I just needed to know that you’d had a better life than I did. I know it’s foolish, but I hoped if I looked into your past and saw happy memories while we were apart, then everything I endured would be worth it. To learn you had suffered just as greatly . . .” Her voice broke and the tears Iliana had been holding back finally began to fall without restraint.

  She understood Iliana’s intentions better than she ever would have dreamed. Right now, in the confines of her pod with no witnesses to put on a façade for, she was showing Finn exactly who she was. Finn had been ignoring the glaring evidence as best she could for the last few weeks but there was no denying it now.

  Iliana was a woman who loved her little sister more than anything in the world.

  Knowing what she’d been through and knowing her desire to spare Finn from the same fate, the remaining dregs of Finn’s resentment faded into oblivion.

  “I love you, Iliana,” she whispered. The words shot out of her mouth before she even knew she was saying them. Iliana sucked in a breath, her eyes widening in shock before sliding shut, fresh tears cascading down her cheeks. When she next opened them, they shone brightly, and a soft smile spread across her face.

  “I love you too, Finn.”

  EIGHTEEN

  “Good,” Finn called. “Remember to keep your guard up and don’t be afraid to use your legs.”

  She watched as Lex squared off with Enyo, bouncing in place with her fists at her chin. At Finn’s compliment, she smiled wide and straightened her legs. Enyo, taking advantage of her inattention, tackled the dainty girl around her waist and took her to the ground.

  The air left Lex’s lungs on a loud grunt. It took a moment for her to catch her breath, but when she did, her amber eyes sparkled and she shot the Sirian a grin.

  Finn shook her head as Enyo reached down and helped Lex to her feet.

  “You should’ve seen that coming, Lex,” Finn scolded.

  The girl tightened the pink ponytails at the top of her head.

  “You distracted me,” she said, pouting.

  Finn sighed and rolled her eyes, moving on to the next sparring duo. Jax and AJ feinted and rolled around the training room mats, doing their best to avoid hard kicks to the lower body and jabs to the face. The boy and the young pilot had tossed their shirts to the side, sparring with their chests bared in a blur of alabaster and caramel.

  Axel worked with the weights, watching quietly from the corner. Though he trained separately with Finn and AJ, he was desperate to prove he could be present for the group’s sessions without having another episode.

  AJ launched an uppercut at Jax’s chin, but the pilot saw the punch coming and ducked out of the way with impressive speed.

  “Nice, Jax. Make him work for it,” she called.

  Not one to be outshone, AJ switched tactics, mimicking a move he’d learned from Enyo. He dipped his head and tackled Jax’s midsection. As they struggled, AJ curved his leg around Jax’s ankle and took him to the ground.

  Joy swelled in Finn’s chest at the sight and she grinned with pride. She made her way over to Axel as she watched the boys struggle for leverage on the ground.

  “You doing okay, Axel?”

  The half-Khaleerian took a deep breath and released the weights he’d been holding at his shoulders with ease. The kid’s strength seemed to know no limits. He ran a hand over his horns and tore his eyes away from the sparring duo.

  “I’m good. Now that I know what to expect, I can control my temper. Besides, Jax is doing great out there.”

  His face lit up with a shy smile and Finn returned it.

  “Fortunately for me, you’ve all proven to be fast learners.”

  The hulking hybrid turned toward her, his smile fading and replaced by an earnest expression.

  “It’s not us. It’s you. You’re a great teacher. Where did you learn all this stuff anyway?”

  Grim’s face appeared in her mind’s eye. It was strange to hate someone and be completely indebted to them at the same time. None of this would be possible without her mentor, yet his betrayal and lies were like a poison in her bloodstream she had yet to purge.

  “I used to read a lot,” Finn told Axel dryly.

  “Focus on what you saw when you read the books, Dhala. Concentrate on re-creating the movements.”

  Grim’s hulking form stands before her unarmed. His dark eyes search hers carefully as he circles her where she stands. His dark red skin and glossy horns shine in the candlelight.

  Finn closes her eyes, conjuring up images from the long study sessions he’d been putting her through lately. Every time she laid her hands on the tomes, images of controlled aggression and graceful fighting styles filled her mind.

  It isn’t just a parade of images though, and it isn’t like watching the scene from a safe distance on a holojector. When she touches the books, she becomes a part of the people inside them. In the recesses of her mind, there is no such thing as a safe distance; she lives inside the moment with them.

  She can almost feel the emotions of the strange-looking warriors she glimpse
s, and it frightens her.

  After a moment, she releases a frustrated sigh and opens one eye to glare at Grim.

  “This is stupid. I can’t just learn how to fight by reading a bunch of your old books.”

  Grim clucks his tongue at her outburst.

  “You’re doing much more than reading. Besides, that is why we are sparring, Dhala. You already have the knowledge you need, now we must put it to use.”

  Finn fights back a smart remark and closes her eyes once again. Grim is giving her the opportunity to learn how to defend herself, something she desperately needs, and she doesn’t want to seem ungrateful.

  She focuses her mind, shutting everything out but the knowledge she has gained reading Grim’s books. She inhales deeply, forcing her limbs to relax. Her eyes shoot open when she hears movement to her right.

  Grim moves with incredible speed, his massive frame launching itself at Finn. On instinct, she ducks low and dives out of striking distance. Rolling to her feet, she eyes the Khaleerian warily.

  “I thought we were starting slow.”

  “Slow gives you time to think, it clouds your mind,” he says as his eyes narrow. Finn gulps in trepidation, watching her mentor circle her with a predatory gaze. The fear is nearly overwhelming and her hands shake at her sides.

  He throws a punch and she barely manages to dive out of the way. He swings for her again and again; she dives out of the way with milliseconds to spare.

  “Stop running and fight, Finn.”

  Her heart pounds in her chest, and her vision goes fuzzy with the onslaught of panic.

  In a blur of motion, Grim spins and launches a kick at her face. Finn’s hands come up to block his leg. With a grace she didn’t know she possessed, she releases him and spins into his body. Her foot darts behind his ankle as her right fist hits his chest with surprising strength.

  Grim loses his balance and falls to the ground with a thud. Finn freezes.

  “Grim?”

  Slowly, the big man lifts his eyes to hers, low laughter shaking his chest.

  “Very good, Dhala.”

  NINETEEN

  “Axel, keep a lid on that rage,” Finn ordered as she followed his retreating steps.

  It was early morning during their regular training session. The large half-Khaleerian had just taken a jab to the jaw, and she hadn’t been holding back. His skin was already darkening and the black of his pupils had begun to bleed into his irises.

  AJ’s eyes flitted over to them from his sparring match with Enyo and Finn tossed him a stern glare.

  “Focus on your own fight, AJ.”

  Suddenly caught unawares, the boy’s eyes shot wide and he turned quickly back to Enyo.

  He wasn’t quick enough.

  The Sirian tackled him around the midsection with a move that was becoming her signature and took him to the ground, pouncing on his chest as he landed and holding one long claw to his pale throat.

  Finn shook her head and turned back to Axel. She found him watching her intently as he struggled to control the heaving breaths filling his barrel chest. He clenched his jaw tight in a bid to control the raging emotions.

  Eventually, his skin returned to its normal pallor and his eyes cleared.

  “I don’t get it,” he said on a frustrated exhale. “Why is it so important I learn how to fight without using my abilities? When I get angry, I feel strong . . . I feel powerful.”

  His eyes darted away at the admission as though embarrassed. Across the room, Enyo had helped AJ to his feet to square off again. Learning from his mistakes, this time the boy gave the Sirian his full and undivided attention.

  Finn took a step toward Axel and gentled her voice.

  “Your anger makes you strong, Axel, but a Khaleerian’s true strength lies in their ability to control that anger. With that control, you are like a rifle, powerful but accurate. Without it, you’re a grenade and you will blow up anything and anyone in your path.”

  “How do you know so much about Khaleerians?”

  “I was trained by one.” Finn clenched her jaw as she added begrudgingly, “He learned to master his anger and his strength became a finely honed weapon. He was one of the best fighters I’ve ever known.”

  “Was?”

  Before she could muster up a reply, movement at the door caught her attention. Conrad and Shane entered. Shane had given their training sessions a relatively wide berth in an attempt to respect AJ’s wishes, but it appeared as though his patience had run out.

  She was honestly surprised he’d lasted as long as he had.

  AJ dutifully ignored his brothers’ interruption and ducked out of the way just as Enyo’s fist came flying at his face. He spun to the left and countered, just barely missing the Sirian’s jaw with a well-timed right hook.

  Shane watched closely, making his way over to Finn without ever taking his eyes away from the sparring duo. He came to a stop at her left and Conrad joined them a moment later.

  “Don’t tell me you need me to train you too, Shane,” she said evenly without taking her gaze from the fight.

  The captain let out a breath that was half sigh and half chuckle.

  “Conrad has assured me you are a very capable teacher but—”

  “You had to see for yourself,” she finished for him, finally letting her eyes drift over in his direction.

  “Yes.” He smiled.

  “I tried to keep him away as long as I could, Hellion,” Conrad remarked through an amused smirk. Finn rolled her eyes before stopping to size the captain up. His lean frame sported a pair of tan pants and a long-sleeved shirt. A pair of dark brown boots completed the look.

  “You know,” she told him, “there’s really only one way to know for sure if I’m cut out to teach AJ.”

  Shane’s blond brows arched in confusion as he regarded her.

  “What’s that?”

  “You’re going to want to take those off.” She inclined her head and stared meaningfully at his boots. Shane’s green eyes followed hers, his expression perplexed.

  “You want me to take my shoes off?”

  “Yeah,” she said over her shoulder as she made her way to the center of the mats. “We don’t allow shoes on the mats.”

  Across the room, AJ feinted half-heartedly and Enyo countered with a lazy uppercut that didn’t even come close to landing. Both of them had diverted their attention to watching the conversation in front of them unfold and both were doing a terrible job at pretending otherwise.

  AJ looked dumbfounded.

  Enyo’s eyes gleamed with amusement.

  “I don’t understand,” Shane called to Finn.

  She stretched her left arm followed by her right and shifted on the balls of her feet.

  “What’s to understand? You’re going to fight me.”

  The captain’s mouth fell open comically wide. He looked to Conrad for help, but the big hybrid merely folded his arms and smiled.

  “I can’t fight you, Finn. I’m a trained soldier. And I’m twice your size.”

  Finn smirked.

  Shane would never relax and trust her to instruct AJ if he doubted her skill. There was only one way to show him he had nothing to worry about.

  Maybe then the poor man could finally relax a little.

  “Do it, Shane,” Conrad ordered quietly.

  The captain eyed them both warily. Eventually, his shoulders sagged slightly and he relented. She watched as he kicked the boots from his feet and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

  Enyo and AJ gave up the charade and watched Finn and Shane with rapt gazes. The captain made his way to her on the mats and stopped a few feet away. His eyes assessed her warily.

  “Finn, it’s fine; I trust you to train AJ. We don’t need to do this.”

  “No, you don’t,” she said as she circled him, “and yes, we do.”

  His head turned to track her movements and his body tensed as he readied himself for an attack.

  He wasn’t going to make the first move. Hi
s stance was purely defensive.

  If this was going to work, she needed his full participation.

  Finn feinted low and stepped into his space, throwing an elbow into the center of his hard abdomen. He grunted and caught her other fist as it came speeding toward his nose.

  Finn purposefully left her guard open, waiting to see what he would do. Shane merely released her fist and stepped away.

  This time, Finn sent a well-placed kick to Shane’s midsection. As he huddled over groaning, she grabbed him by the hair and kneed him hard in the face. His head fell back as she released him, blood dripping from his nose.

  “Stop holding back,” she growled.

  Anger flashed in his green eyes and Finn grinned. He stood to his full height, squaring his broad shoulders. He cracked his neck and wiped the blood from his face with the pad of a thumb.

  His eyes tracked her movements, gauging her next step.

  As she swung high, he ducked low and pivoted out of her way, kicking her hard behind the knees. She stumbled before righting herself.

  He moved again and she managed to duck under the hard punch he launched at her temple. Before she could recover, he came running at her. She found the way he moved with such deadly elegance both intimidating and impressive in equal measure.

  Shane had finally stopped pulling his punches and he was proving himself to be a worthy adversary.

  The captain dipped his shoulder and attempted to wrestle Finn around the midsection. She anticipated the move. Using Shane’s momentum against him, she bowed her upper body and sent him flying over her. He landed on the mat with a hard thud.

  In a testament to speed, he was up and on his feet in record time. Each time they made contact, he seemed to be studying her movements, calculating them, and recalibrating before their next exchange.

  It was thrilling to have such a skilled opponent.

  She kicked out at his legs, aiming for his kneecap. Shane predicted the move and caught her around the ankle, twisting as he sent her flying to the floor.