Disobedience Page 11

  Finn sighed in frustration.

  “I killed someone, Conrad. My only friend. You did everything in your power to save AJ. It’s not the same thing at all.”

  Conrad hung his head as he whispered, “I hid in a vent and watched Shane’s father murder my parents. It might not be the same, but I know what it is to live with guilt.”

  Finn’s heart squeezed with pain and she leaned into him.

  “Conrad,” she murmured, “that wasn’t your fault. You were just a child.”

  He turned to face her and raised his brows.

  “That sounds familiar,” he told her, offering a small smile.

  Finn bit her lip. The man wasn’t playing fair. She decided to turn the subject back to him.

  “Tell me more about your parents. How did they meet?”

  Conrad’s eyes shone with amusement, letting her know he was keen to exactly what she was doing.

  “They met on my father’s home planet. His people were from Merlidia before the unionization. The Reliance recruited him at an early age. He was a handsome boy and his abilities made him a useful asset to the army.”

  “Your father was a soldier for the Reliance?” Finn failed to keep the shock out of her voice.

  Conrad’s smile waned slightly.

  “He wasn’t given much of a choice. They took him from his parents before his eleventh cycle. But yes, my father was loyal to the Reliance for most of his life. Eventually, he ended up stationed on Merlidia. My mother was there, working as a seamstress for the wealthiest women in the Inner Rings. They fell in love almost immediately. My mother used to say ‘almost’ because she had no intention of ever giving her heart to a ‘Reliance lackey.’” Conrad chuckled to himself before continuing and Finn smiled. “Obviously her conviction didn’t last long. When she became pregnant with me, my father knew what the Reliance would do to them both. He went AWOL and took my mother to the Outer Rings. We were happy there for a time, until Shane’s father tracked us down.”

  “I’m so sorry, Conrad.”

  He shook his head as though to clear it and changed the subject. “How is training going with Iliana?”

  Finn shrugged as a frown tugged at the corners of her mouth.

  “I’m sure it would go a lot better if I could find an anchor scent. We’re still in the ‘touching objects’ phase. I don’t know how much longer I can sniff lilydung and siphon from teacups and hairbrushes when all I really want to do is touch someone without showing them my worst memories.”

  Conrad put an arm around her, his side warm against hers. She glanced up to find a broad grin stretching his face.

  “Anyone in particular you were hoping to touch?”

  Some of the tension left Finn’s body as she shoved into him with her shoulder.

  “Yeah, I’m just dying to hold Shane’s hand.” She chuckled.

  Conrad’s laughter filled the room and they both savored the moment. Being close to him like this, his unique scent hung in the air between them, erasing her stress and filling her with a sense of well-being.

  She closed her eyes, letting the mixture of mint and oil wash over her as the tension of the day sagged from her shoulders.

  Wait a minute . . .

  Finn leaned in closer and sniffed at him, ignoring his confused glance as she found the source of his scent: his hair.

  “Are you going to clue me in here, Hellion?”

  A blush rose to her cheeks.

  “The scent in your hair, what is it?”

  If he was at all surprised by her question, he didn’t let it show.

  “It’s wax for my dreads.”

  “Do you have more of it?”

  He studied her carefully, as if trying to ascertain whether she’d lost her mind, but Finn was too focused on her goal to be properly embarrassed. Eventually, he seemed to decide she was sane and moved to the far wall. He opened the top drawer of his dresser and motioned for her to come over and look at the contents.

  Inside, there were at least a dozen small black jars arranged side by side.

  “I like to stock up since I can only find the good stuff in the Inner Rings,” he told her.

  Finn carefully lifted one into the palm of her hand and screwed off the top. As Conrad watched her in befuddlement, she inhaled deeply, letting his scent wash over her.

  Smiling, she put the top back on and met Conrad’s gaze.

  “I’m taking this.”

  SIXTEEN

  “We come to you now with breaking news from Senator Califax’s estate. It has been weeks since the Unionization Ball, but the Reliance is no closer to finding the fugitives who robbed the senator of six priceless Arcturian artifacts.”

  Images of the Toad and his meteorheads, looking as stoic and violent as ever, flashed on the rec room’s holojectors.

  “Carserus, one of the fugitives and a Yellow Faze addict, was caught fleeing from the senator’s estate the night of the ball.”

  The Toad and meteorhead Number One disappeared from view as an image of meteorhead Number Two filled the space before them. A gaping hole marked where his right eye should have been. His left eye had a dazed expression clouding it and his slackened jaw hung open as spittle dripped down his yellow chin.

  She recognized that look. Apparently, the Reliance authorities were doing their best to keep the giant subdued. Given his unnatural strength, Purple Faze and the trancelike state it induced would be the best way to do it.

  Finn returned her focus to the pool table and steadied the wooden stick in her hand. She took aim at the bright yellow ball with a glossy number one painted on it. She needed this break from her training with Iliana and no amount of Reliance propaganda would ruin it for her.

  “Six Arcturian artifacts my ass,” Lex spat from across the table. Her bright pink braids fell to her naval and moved hypnotically with her head. “I can’t believe the Toad and his Yellow Faze freaks are getting all the credit for the job we pulled off.”

  Finn hit the white ball with such force it missed the yellow ball completely and shot off the table. Jax ducked just in time before it went careening into his face. He feigned terror at the close call and ran his hands over his spiky orange hair to make sure it hadn’t been messed up.

  “I don’t think I like this game,” Finn muttered to no one in particular. Conrad and Axel held back amused grins from their seats on the couch, their large bodies taking up the space to the point they nearly touched. Conrad’s blue eyes sparkled as they held Finn’s. Lex ceased her angry tirade long enough to shoot Finn an amused smirk. She returned the female pilot’s look with a stern glare. “You should be grateful the Toad is taking the fall. Do you actually want the Reliance on our tails?”

  “No”—Lex frowned—“but it would be nice to get some credit. No one even knows about Axel or Enyo . . . or any of the blended we’re going to save.”

  “Which is a good thing, sis. This way, they’ll never see us coming,” Jax reminded her as he threw a lean arm around his sister’s shoulder.

  “I wouldn’t count on it,” Finn prompted. “Good luck doesn’t last forever.”

  “Good luck and a tech genius could,” Jax reminded her with a rakish wink and a wiggle of his fingers. To punctuate his not-so-subtle reference to his hybrid abilities, the fish marking on his cheek began to glow and the holojector behind him flashed in time with his movements before shutting off completely.

  “Hey, I was watching that,” Lex pouted. With a snap of her fingers, the female pilot’s marking also began to glow and the holojector flashed back on. The volume was even louder this time around.

  “I don’t understand.” Enyo finally broke her silent assessment of the pool table to interrupt the twins’ spat. Her tawny eyes narrowed as she bared her fangs in a confused grimace. “What is the point of this game?” the Sirian asked.

  Lex sighed and moved away from her brother to stand next to Enyo.

  “The point is to knock the balls into the holes.”

  “But why?” Enyo growled
in frustration.

  “Because it’s fun.”

  Lex shoved into Enyo playfully with her hip before taking her place next to Nova at the other end of the table. The doxie—dressed in a pair of pants with the legs cut up to the knees and a thin scrap of material just barely managing to cover her breasts—shot the female pilot a conspiratorial wink. As Lex aimed, she stuck her tongue between her lips in concentration.

  The stick went wild in her hands as she took her shot and the white ball rolled a measly few inches before stopping at the center of the table.

  “That’s it,” Lex shouted as she threw her hands up in frustration. “We’re done playing this stupid game.”

  “I thought it was supposed to be fun,” Enyo murmured to herself.

  Finn grinned at the Sirian and suppressed a chuckle. She felt warmth at her back and turned to find Conrad had risen from his spot on the couch to join her. His posture was relaxed and the ghost of a smile played at the corners of his mouth.

  Lex grabbed Nova by the hand and raced her over to the bar where a holopad rested, unused. Mark still glowing, she twisted her fingers a few inches above the pad in graceful movements and closed her eyes in concentration.

  Soon, bright neon lights in pinks, oranges, and purples began to flash on the walls around them and the sounds of frenetic music filled the room, thumping so loudly Finn could feel the beat in her throat.

  Jax grabbed a blushing Axel by the collar of his shirt and led him to the center of the room where Lex and Nova had already begun to jump around holding hands and bobbing their heads to the rhythm. Jerky hops and furious head bobs matched the beat.

  Though their spasmodic movements made them look ridiculous, their giant grins and uninhibited dancing said they couldn’t have cared less.

  “Come on, boss lady!” Nova yelled over the noise.

  “I don’t dance,” she shouted back to the doxie. “Just ask Conrad.”

  In direct defiance of her statement, Conrad pushed Finn between the shoulders and followed her stumbling steps into the madness. She turned to glare at the big hybrid but found him already grinning unrepentantly and moving his body in time with the song.

  Finn rolled her eyes and crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

  Conrad took no pity. Pulling her gloved hands away from her body, he spun her in a fast circle, forcing her to comply or else fall to the ground. Finn’s dark auburn hair flew around her face from the force of the spin. Lex shrieked with amused glee at the sight and mirrored Conrad’s trick with Nova.

  The doxie spun, albeit less gracefully than Finn, before landing on her backside with a thud. Her cackle of laughter filled the room and the rest of the group soon joined in.

  Enyo watched them darkly from the safety of the corner, her furred arms crossed at the chest. Finn couldn’t hear the Sirian over the music, but she could read her lips as she muttered on an eye roll, “Recontenses.”

  Finn laughed at the sight and closed her eyes, letting the music take over. She flailed her arms and shook her head, looking like the idiot Enyo thought she was and not caring the least bit.

  SEVENTEEN

  Finn plopped the oddly shaped teacup in her hands down on the table with a little too much force. Fortunately, it survived unscathed.

  “I’m sick of this! When are you going to teach me how to stop showing people my memories every time I touch them?”

  She and Iliana had been at it for nearly two weeks and she still hadn’t graduated from siphoning memories from whatever mundane objects her sister could get her hands on.

  Now that Finn had found an anchor scent all her own in Conrad’s dread wax, her abilities were becoming sharper.

  Patience had never really been one of Finn’s strong suits and now more than ever she felt the urgency to learn whatever Iliana could teach her.

  Her sister’s eyes glinted knowingly. She wore another one of her fine silk dresses—this one a deep shade of scarlet—and her red hair was pulled away from her face in a chignon. They’d reached a truce of sorts ever since she’d handed Finn their mother’s hairbrush, and though their relationship was still more than prickly, they were beginning to settle into a somewhat comfortable routine in one another’s presence.

  “In order to teach you, we will have to touch. I wasn’t sure if you’d be receptive.” Finn tried to ignore the vulnerability lurking in the depths of Iliana’s eyes as she spoke and forced her face to remain relaxed and devoid of emotion.

  “That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  Iliana nodded once, bringing her hands up to the table from her lap. Finn eyed them warily.

  “When you touch someone, it is important that you build a wall around yourself. Keep all your feelings inside, especially the bad ones. When you are angry or frightened, you are more likely to project your memories onto others. You must learn to control what you are feeling. Each emotion goes into a box that you keep carefully closed.”

  Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all. If there was one thing Finn knew how to do, it was compartmentalize her feelings. However, the anger and fear part would take some work.

  “Put emotions in a box . . . got it.” Finn gave her sister a sarcastic two-finger salute.

  “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Iliana asked hesitantly.

  “I don’t remember you being this trigger-shy a month ago,” Finn grumbled.

  At the mention of the debacle resulting from the last time they’d touched, Iliana’s gaze narrowed and her full lips pursed.

  “For this to work, you’re going to have to let go of the past and your resentment.”

  Finn sighed as she met Iliana’s intent stare. Her sister wasn’t backing down on this and though Finn wanted to argue, she was learning the importance of relaxing her stubborn nature for the greater good. Letting go didn’t necessarily mean forgiving and she certainly would never forget, but if she wanted to hone her abilities, she was going to have to meet Iliana halfway.

  Finn threw her hands up and tossed Iliana a half-hearted glare.

  “Fine, I’m letting go as we speak.”

  Iliana’s answering smile was small and somewhat tentative but the tension that had been weighing her down the last two weeks seemed to evaporate.

  “When I take your hand, focus on the memory I show you. Relax your mind and your body and let go of emotions.”

  Iliana’s hands inched nearer across the table and Finn’s stomach clenched in anxiety. As though sensing it, Iliana reassured her.

  “I will disengage if any of your memories slip through. Now, do you have your anchor scent ready?”

  Finn pulled the small jar from her pocket and set it on the table. Twisting off the lid, she took a small dab of wax and rubbed it between her fingers. Conrad’s scent immediately filled the air around her. She gave Iliana a tight nod and stretched her shaking hands across the table.

  “Remember all that you’ve learned so far, Little One.”

  With that last piece of advice, Iliana’s hands closed the space between them and grasped Finn’s. As a low buzzing sounded in her ears and images began to flood Finn’s mind, she inhaled deeply, letting Conrad’s scent keep her grounded in the present.

  She imagined every feeling and thought tucked tightly away in a large metal box, imagined the lock snapping into place, and then sat on the thing for good measure.

  On another inhale, she beckoned the images closer, squeezing Iliana’s hands as she did. It was something she used to do as a child when she was nervous but didn’t want to admit it. She’d squeeze her sister’s hand and her sister would squeeze back to let her know everything would be all right.

  She felt Iliana’s return squeeze an instant before the images came into focus.

  A young Iliana holds a crying auburn-haired toddler in her arms. She rubs the child’s back in soothing circles. Eventually, the small girl hiccups and pulls from the embrace.

  “Want Mama,” she tells Iliana in toddler speak, a frown mar
ring her brows.

  “I know, Kyra. I know.” Iliana wipes the tears from the child’s face with gentle fingers and begins to stroke her hair. The toddler’s lower lip begins to quiver when she realizes her big sister cannot magically make their mother appear. As the tears begin to pool in her eyes once again, Iliana pulls her into her lap and begins to sing a lullaby.

  Finn was so young in the memory she couldn’t have been more than two or three cycles. She didn’t remember much about that time, but she did remember the way their father had changed when their mother died.

  He became a shell of the affectionate, effervescent man he’d been.

  He rarely played with his girls or tucked them in at night. He’d been too busy protecting them from a galaxy that would see them dead.

  As a child she’d thought her father paranoid. As an adult, she understood the depth and scope of his fear.

  However, with or without her father’s attention, Finn’s childhood had been filled with love and affection thanks to Iliana. Her eyes began to sting uncomfortably as she took in the scene from her sister’s memories. She’d been taking care of Finn and putting her comfort first since Finn was a baby.

  She took another deep breath, filling her nostrils with Conrad’s scent as the memory began to shift and change. As it did, Finn realized she was in control this time. Iliana had opened herself up, allowing her to siphon whatever memories she chose. Finn let one memory come into focus for a moment before moving on to the next, sorting through them like one would leaf through the pages of a book.

  When she reached one that seemed different from the rest, she paused. Unlike the others, this memory pulsed before her, gray and ominous. She stopped, beckoning it to the forefront, the edges of her vision blurring as she tried to concentrate.

  Darkness began to overtake her as the memory overwhelmed Finn’s careful control. Her heart beat a furious, panicked rhythm in her chest. With Conrad’s scent long forgotten, Iliana’s memory pulled her from the present and sent her careening into black.

  It is cold and someone is screaming. Finn can barely make out the shapes in front of her as her eyes adjust to the dimness. The feminine screams become whimpers and Finn wraps her arms around herself in a bid to ward off the chill in the air.